Home Goods Happy Husband

It started when I mentioned wanting a reading nook.

"What's a reading nook," the husband asked.

"What do you mean 'what's a reading nook?' It's for reading." I was already annoyed.

"But what is it?" he asked again.

"It's a cozy spot to READ. A comfy chair, good lighting, a little table to set your coffee on. You know, a reading nook." I explained as if speaking to one of our children.

"What's wrong with the comfy chair that you're currently sitting in?"He was trying to catch me on a technicality.

"Oh this won't work. It's too close to the T.V."

"Too close to the T.V.? It's everything you just described. Table, light, chair. The whole thing."

"But it's all in front of the T.V. It's too tempting. This chair is for watching not reading. I want to be tucked into a little corner with a chair that's all mine and whose only purpose is to wait for me to come and read in it."

"Have you been watching HGTV? Does this have something to do with Pinterest? There's plenty of chairs in this house that would be happy to let you read in them."

He grinned. He knew what he was doing. He started listing off chairs in different places all over our house. Yes, it was true. There were plenty of chairs in our home, more chairs than we had people to sit in them. Buying a new chair seemed ridiculous, frivolous, stupid, but I couldn't help myself.

Finally I yelled, "CAN WE JUST GO TO HOME GOODS, PLEASE! Let's just me look. I just want to look."

And the husband, being the wonderful guy that he is, agreed to go.

"Better I go with you than not," he said.

***

Home Goods on a Saturday was probably my first mistake. People were everywhere. I knew I needed to act fast so some other woman didn't get to my chair first. Was I sure that my reading nook chair was even there? Did I even know what I was really looking for? No, not really. But I sure as hell didn't want some other woman getting to it first.

There were plenty to choose from. But, much like Goldilocks inspecting and finding wrong with the furniture in the home of the Three Bears, I found wrong with almost every chair in the store.

That chair is too small.

That chair is too big.

That chair is too hard.

That chair is too soft.

It didn't look like I was going to find it. The store was crowded causing the bargain hunting high to wear off. When I had started to succumb to the fact that we might be leaving the store empty handed, I saw something.

"Look at that one," I told the husband.

I was pointing out a chair not for myself, but for him. When I saw it, I instantly knew that he would like it. You see, my husband is a lover of different. He wants the rare things that no one else will have. He doesn't want them because they are expensive or showy. No, he wants them because they are unique. He loves unique. Part of the reason we named our children what we did was because they weren't names that you hear every day. And when I saw this chair, that's exactly what he thought.

"Now there's a chair you don't see every day."

It was love at first sight. He was grinning from ear to ear and once we saw that it was marked waaaaaaaaay down, well I was almost certain that this chair was going home with us.

"We have to have it! It's so cool! Don't you think it's cool? Where can we put it? Should it go outside? No, it would get ruined outside. Inside. Where can it go inside?"

You know when you take your children shopping and you go looking for one thing and they end of begging for another? And you know how annoyed you are when they do that because that's not what you came for but their excitement is so pure you can't help but want to buy it for them just because you know how happy it will make them? Yeah, that's what this was. This chair was NOT the chair that I came looking for. This wasn't a reading nook chair. Far from it. But it was clear. We would be going home with this chair.

I tried to hide my disappointment. "Well that's not the chair that we came for. But it's cool. And it's a good deal. So. Fine. You can have your chair."

Oh how happy my husband was. He was the epitome of their slogan. He was indeed "Home Goods Happy."

I, however, was not. I was not happy. No where close. Wasn't he just bitching about already having too many chairs in the house? Sure, this chair was cool and different (and quite a bargain) but it would now require a new home in our home. This meant rearranging. I didn't mind rearranging for a chair for my reading nook. That was totally acceptable. But this? This was just going to annoy me.

Watching the husband proudly parade the chair through the store up to the register, you could see it on his face. His face said to everyone we passed, "Look what I found and you didn't!" I knew that face. That face is what Home Goods is all about. That is the face of "I got to it first and now it's mine!" I understood that face and because I myself have had it many times before. I stopped being annoyed. How could I be annoyed when this damn chair clearly made him so happy? Home Goods Happy.

I'll admit, the chair has grown on me and the new arrangement of the living room furniture looks pretty good. We have named him Mr. Chair (after a reference to one of our favorite T.V. shows.) We've had it for a couple of weeks now and no one has sat in Mr. Chair.

"You still haven't sat in Mr. Chair," I pointed out to the husband last night.

"I know, but look how cool it is!"

So the next time you come over to our house, and you see a really unique chair that is actually more comfortable than it looks, feel free to comment to my husband, "My what a cool chair you have!" He will beam as if you had just complimented one of our children.

And please, feel free to have a seat. Someone needs to.

Challenges of a Reading Challenge

It sucks to realize that you, well, suck at something.

I sucked at completing my reading challenge last year. Around this time last year, I posted about a reading challenge that I had found on another blog. If that blogger was giving grades for challenge completion, she would have given me a big, fat, slightly hungover, "F" for failure.

I keep track of the book I read on my Goodreads app. If you are a reader and you have never checked out this app, I highly recommend. You can keep running lists of the books you've read, want to read, etc. You can also rate the books you've read and leave reviews for other readers to check out. I'm not very good at writing reviews, so don't be disappointed if you hop on the app and become my friend. It is a great way to find out what other people think about a book before you click "Buy It Now" on Amazon and it is on your doorstep in 2 days. 

According to my Goodreads list, I read 30 books in 2016. Impressive right? I guess it all depends. My friends who aren't readers are thinking, "That's crazy!" My friends who are devoted readers might be thinking, "That's a nice effort. Better luck next year." Along with the reading challenge I found on the blog I mentioned, I also set a reading challenging on the Goodreads site as well. This challenge allowed you to set a goal for the number of books that you want to read for the year. My goal was to read 40 books. So, yeah, I failed that one too. But still! 30 books!

Here was the challenge from last year and what I actually ended up reading.

a book published this year: This one is easy. There will be many books published in 2016 that I'm sure I want to read, but I already have a few picked out. The Year We Turned Forty, The After Party, and The Nest all look good and will most likely be downloaded to my Kindle when available.

So I did read The Nest. I gave it 4 out of 5 stars. But that wasn't the only book published in 2016 that I read. I did pretty good on this particular part of the challege. I also read: 

• My Name is Lucy Barton
• How to Be Here: A Guide to Creating a Life Worth Living
• The Dinner Party
• Modern Lovers
• Lily and the Octopus (hated, couldn't finish)
• The Hopefuls
• Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living
• Truly Madly Guily
• Girl in Pieces
• Commonwealth (loved!)
• Today Will Be Different (meh...)
• The Children
• The Magnolia Story.

a book you can finish in a day: I've already started this one. American Housewife is a collection of short stories that you can devour in one sitting. Of course it's taking me a day or three due to children, housework and sleep getting in the way, but I'm still counting it.

I don't know if I actually finished it in a day, but it was damn near close. I don't know if I've ever read a book in one day. I read too many books at once. Right now I'm currently reading 15 books according to my Goodreads list. Not kidding.



a book you've been meaning to read: Oh this list is long. Stupid long. Like, I could go without buying a new book for the next three years and have plenty to read long. But if I have to pick one (for sake of time), I'll go with Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. It's waited on my shelf long enough. There's also A Prayer for Owen Meany who has been patiently waiting and My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry that I bought at my favorite indy bookstore last fall looks soooo good.

I didn't read any that I listed above, but there were others that I finally read:

• Orphan Train (listening on Audible.com)
• Running with Scissors (crazy! but good)

a book recommended by your local librarian or bookseller: Whenever I go to my favorite indy bookstores, I love reading the handwritten recommendations by the workers at the store. However...I have trouble with recommendations. Every reader is different. We like what we like and what we like might not be what others like. So, I'm not sure that this will be a challenge that I will be able to meet. We'll just have to see.

I receive a lot of recommendation by listening to the podcast called, What Should I Read Next. There have been several books discussed during this podcast that I have gone on to read or have in my gigantic, ever-growing to read pile. If you haven't discovered podcasts yet and you are a book lover, I highly recommend.



a book you should have read in school: Well, I'm sure there are plenty that I should have read in school, but I'm going to go with a classic The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. I've never read Twain that something about that feels sacrilegious.

Tom's gonna have to wait for another year.



a book chosen by your spouse, child or bff: My husband knows better than to make any recommendations for me, and I really don't want to read any Star Wars books that my children might pick out. My friends are good at recommending books, so this one might have to be their choice.

Again, the WSIRN podcast was my go-to for recommendations.



a book published before you were born: This would be before 1973. I'll have to do a little research for this one.

I  never did any research on this one.



a book that was banned at some point: Apparently Tom Sawyer was banned at some point, so that one will count twice.

Tom lost out again.



a book you previously abandoned: This is not a challenge that I'm going to mess with. Life is too short to read books you don't like. Not gonna do it.

And I stuck to my word. Too many books to waste time on bad ones.


a book that you own by have never read: Oh there are so many. I'll go with California and The Children's Crusade. There's also My Southern Journey that I can't wait to read and In the Unlikely Event that I would be embarrassed to tell my hero Judy Blume that I have not read yet!

Yep, so I still own all of those books listed above and haven't read any of them yet. Even though I read 30 books, the to-read piles in different corners of my house only continue to grow bigger and bigger. I read something once that this reader wanted all of the publishers to stop publishing books for at least a year, maybe two, just to give her time to catch up. That's how I feel. Let me catch up people. And now it's a new year which means there are lots of new books coming out. In fact, I think I have one that I pre-ordered from Amazon arriving on Thursday.



a book that intimidates you: I adore author Elizabeth Gilbert. She's also on my hero list. I just finished her book Big Magic and it made me crazy happy to read. Her book The Signature of All Things has been on my shelf ever since it was published. I bought it because of my clear adoration of the author, but the subject matter less than thrills me. Okay, it really doesn't interest me. At. All. The book doesn't intimidate me as much as it doesn't excite me. I think we can still count it.

I didn't read anything this year that I found intimidating. I read whatever I was in the mood for. I don't need pressure from fat intimidating books.



a book that you've already read at least once: I'm not into this one. Unlike my son who has read the entire Harry Potter series twice (and some of the books even three times.) But me? Once I'm done with a book I'm done. I don't think I've ever read a book more than once. So I think this is another challenge I will choose to pass on.

Which is exactly what I did. Passed.



So here we are. After reviewing my failures, dare I attempt another reading challenge? You betcha!

Reading for fun. That's me. Although it looks like there are some challenges on here that are very similar to last year, damnit. But there's also this one...

I think I'm going to take a little from each and go from there. We'll see what happens! One thing I know for certain. I will definitely be reading this year. That's one challenge I happily accept.

I raised a ravenous reader & I couldn't be more proud.

Dear Bentley,

I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that you are turning 14 tomorrow. 14 seems like such a big number. 14 means high school. 14 is only two years away from driving and four years away from college. I'm not sure that I'm ready. Nobody bothered to ask me if I was ready. Nobody asked if I was prepared. And yet, here it is.

You didn't realize it, but last night we shared a moment. It was bedtime and I stopped by your door to check on you. You were reading.

"It's time for bed," I told you.

"I know," you mumbled from behind your book. "Just a few more pages."

You had told me earlier that evening all about the book you are reading. It was one of the many you had picked out when we went to Vroman's in Pasadena. (Yes, there had been quite a large stack that I happily bought for you.) You talked about how much you liked it. I half listened, too occupied by my own thoughts to focus on the plot you were retelling, too busy thinking about how grateful I am that you are a reader.

You come by your reading excitement naturally. It's part of your DNA. When I was busy making your body in my body, I read a total of nine novels. I got hooked on Oprah's Book Club books reading one book for each month I was pregnant with you. It didn't do it on purpose. That's just the way it ended up working out. Honestly, I never felt well enough to do much more than read. I drank smoothies from Jamba Juice, ate Kentucky Fried Chicken, and read books. We quietly read together every day. Your were reading via osmosis. Reading by association.

I'll always remember the moment you became a reader. Not when you learned how to read. That's something totally different. I remember when you first fell into a book and didn't want to come out. For Valentine's Day that year, I bought you Diary of a Wimpy Kid. You ended up taking the book with us to one of Dad's golf tournaments, finishing the whole book before the first round was even over. You devoured it the same way your little brother can devour an entire bag of Sun Chips. You loved every single bite. Thank goodness the next two books in the series had already been published because you could hardly wait to read more. Before you and your brother were born I made a strong parental declaration. There was one thing that I would never deny either of you: Books. We took you that next weekend to buy the next two Wimpy Kid books, which you ate up just as quickly as the first.

And then came Harry. I wasn't surprised at all that you fell hard for Harry Potter. I just never imagined that you would read the whole series twice. Even though you've completed the series all the way through and back again, I could go into your room tomorrow and see that you've randomly started the fifth book again ...just because. Dad and I feel weird having to tell you to stop reading Harry and pick up something different. And of course, because you're a good kid who listens to your parents, you have. You've read many books in your 14 years and once you get into a book there's no getting you out. "Did you fall in?" I'll ask you when you get into the car after school and immediately get out the book to start reading. And you'll just smile, say yes, and open the book.

Yes, I'm not at all surprised that you are a reader. I take all of the credit. However, Wimpy Kid creator, Jeff Kinney, and J.K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame probably deserve some of the credit too. And don't forget Oprah. Yes, Oprah deserves some credit too. But mostly me. This is one that I will proudly claim. You are my ravenous reader, my sweet 14 year old boy. Happy birthday. I pray you will be hungry for years to come.

Love,
Mom

A Reading Challenge

Reading isn't a challenge for me. It's something I love and make time for no matter what. However, I found this reading challenge on Modern Mrs. Darcy. I can't say that I am very fond of challenges of any sort, but I love this idea. Not that I need help reading or choosing the books that I want to read, but it's always fun to participate.

So in the spirit of participating and being a good sport, here are my choices:

a book published this year: This one is easy. There will be many books published in 2016 that I'm sure I want to read, but I already have a few picked out. The Year We Turned Forty, The After Party, and The Nest all look good and will most likely be downloaded to my Kindle when available.

a book you can finish in a day: I've already started this one. American Housewife is a collection of short stories that you can devour in one sitting. Of course it's taking me a day or three due to children, housework and sleep getting in the way, but I'm still counting it.

a book you've been meaning to read: Oh this list is long. Stupid long. Like, I could go without buying a new book for the next three years and have plenty to read long. But if I have to pick one (for sake of time), I'll go with Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. It's waited on my shelf long enough. There's also A Prayer for Owen Meany who has been patiently waiting and My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry that I bought at my favorite indy bookstore last fall looks soooo good.

a book recommended by your local librarian or bookseller: Whenever I go to my favorite indy bookstores, I love reading the handwritten recommendations by the workers at the store. However...I have trouble with recommendations. Every reader is different. We like what we like and what we like might not be what others like. So, I'm not sure that this will be a challenge that I will be able to meet. We'll just have to see.

a book you should have read in school: Well, I'm sure there are plenty that I should have read in school, but I'm going to go with a classic The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. I've never read Twain that something about that feels sacrilegious.

a book chosen by your spouse, child or bff: My husband knows better than to make any recommendations for me, and I really don't want to read any Star Wars books that my children might pick out. My friends are good at recommending books, so this one might have to be their choice.

a book published before you were born: This would be before 1973. I'll have to do a little research for this one.

a book that was banned at some point: Apparently Tom Sawyer was banned at some point, so that one will count twice.

a book you previously abandoned: This is not a challenge that I'm going to mess with. Life is too short to read books you don't like. Not gonna do it.

a book that you own by have never read: Oh there are so many. I'll go with California and The Children's Crusade. There's also My Southern Journey that I can't wait to read and In the Unlikely Event that I would be embarrassed to tell my hero Judy Blume that I have not read yet!

a book that intimidates you: I adore author Elizabeth Gilbert. She's also on my hero list. I just finished her book Big Magic and it made me crazy happy to read. Her book The Signature of All Things has been on my shelf ever since it was published. I bought it because of my clear adoration of the author, but the subject matter less than thrills me. Okay, it really doesn't interest me. At. All. The book doesn't intimidate me as much as it doesn't excite me. I think we can still count it.

a book that you've already read at least once: I'm not into this one. Unlike my son who has read the entire Harry Potter series twice (and some of the books even three times.) But me? Once I'm done with a book I'm done. I don't think I've ever read a book more than once. So I think this is another challenge I will choose to pass on.

So there it is. My reading challenge for 2016. There are so many more that I want to read. My other challenge is to finish two books per month. We'll see what happens!

The one where I talk about fallen heroes.

Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in “To Kill a Mockingbird” CreditUniversal Studios

When the news broke about Bill Cosby drugging women, I kept trying to ignore what I was hearing. If it came on the television news I wouldn't watch it. If I came across a news article online, I wouldn't read it. How could it possibly be true? Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable would never do such a thing! Well, maybe Dr. Huxtable wouldn't, but apparently Mr. Cosby would.

By trying to ignore it, I was simply trying to make it go away. Hear no evil, see no evil. I'll just burry my head in the sand and make it all disappear. But ignoring the facts didn't make it any less true.

Then yesterday, amongst all of the press coverage of Haper Lee's new novel releasing tomorrow I learned that yet another hero had fallen off his pedestal. If you haven't heard or have no idea what I am talking about, you can read more about it here. In a nutshell, in Go Set a Watchman Atticus Finch has become a racist. This is incredibly unsettling for LOTS of reasons, but mostly because Atticus is one of the greatest fictional heroes of all time.

I pre-ordered my copy of Lee's new book months ago. I wanted to be able to start reading it the day it was released. This was going to be history in the making and I was choosing be an active part of it. I even considered re-reading To Kill a Mockingbird out of excitement for the new novel, but considering my huge to-read pile staring me in the face thought better of it.

I've seen the social media comments about the Atticus revelation. Shock. Disappointment. Dismay. Even anger. Many are now refusing to read the new novel. They don't want to tarnish the original Atticus. They want to put their heads in the sand. Read no evil, see no evil. But refusing to read it isn't going to change what's been written. It's already out there. Harper Lee wrote the words and created the character and our choosing to not reading the book will do nothing to change the facts.

And sometimes the facts can hurt. Atticus is a racist. Mr. Cosby is a rapist. It pained me just to type those two sentences. I don't want to believe any of it. They are supposed to be heroes. Luckily, Atticus is only a work of fiction. For all of those women he rapped, Mr. Cosby, unfortunately, is not.

I will read the book when it arrives in my mailbox tomorrow. I'm sure it will be upsetting at times but in the end, it's just a novel. I'm not reading about a real person. I might have loved the character and what he stood for in Mockingbird, but he's still only a character in a book (all be it one of the the greatest and most beloved fictional characters ever.)

A few year ago I bought the complete series of "The Cosby Show." I loved that show and, honestly, will continue to love that show because, like the novel, is only a work of fiction. I won't deny that the shows will probably be hard to watch. So much of the man and the character are blended together. I might not be able to get through even one episode without Cosby's despicable acts clouding my enjoyment. And that really, REALLY pisses me off.

All I know is this: neither of these men are REAL heroes. I have met real heroes. Heroes that serve our country in the most selfless ways. Heroes that leaves their families for months and months at a time, putting themselves in harms way in the most dangerous parts of the world.

These individuals are REAL heroes. The heroes that deserve our time, our attention, our tweets, our blog posts.