What's wrong with that?

The Cheese has his first parent-teacher conference today. I'm supposed to come up with 3 goals that I have for my child but I'm don't think I'll be able to finish my homework before I go to school.

School seems to be the one area in my child's life that he is doing really well. The goals that I have for my child involve not hitting his brother, eating all of his dinner, and not getting magic marker on the carpet. For some reason, I don't think that's what Mrs. Henry has in mind.

When I was a teacher, I always got so nervous before parent conferences. It was hard having to sugar coat the problems that someone's child was having at school. You can tell someone a hundred different ways that their child is great, but all of that goes out the window once they find out that their child is failing fractions.

I'll never forget the story of my oldest nephew's first parent-teacher conference. Sweet Sam--who is now a sophomore in high school and (gulp) about to start driving--was a bright little boy. One of the sweetest, most kind-natured children that I've ever known. Maybe I'm just a biased aunt, but I can't remember Sam doing anything wrong...ever!

My step-sister and brother-in-law walked into the conference with no worries.

"I have good news and bad news," Sam's first grade teacher told them.

"Sam is reading well above grade level and is an excellent student."

No surprise there, but then his teacher paused to take a deep breath.

"But...Sam's been cussing and I've caught him playing with himself more than once."

And after what I imagine was a brief period when Sam's parents tried their best to suppress their laughter, my brother-in-law finally spoke.

"And the bad news is?"

Here's hoping that Mrs. Henry doesn't have any bad news for us either.