Creativity, Pod Casts, and Fears

I am what you call a person with good intensions and no follow through.  I said that I wanted to start writing again. I said that it was important to me and that I would make time for it in my daily routine. But I haven't. I've had lots of thoughts and ideas that I want to write about:

• Why do so many people open their mouths when taking a selfie? Do we look better with our mouths open? Does it make us look younger? Because if that's the case, then I'm going to start doing it. All the time.
• My mother recently informed me that I was almost named Wendy. After 42 years, this revelation was unsettling but I really can't tell you why.
• I'm a dog person. At times I've been known to treat my dogs better than my family. My dogs are important to me. Naming my children was easier than naming my dog.

I was listening to a pod cast recently. I have discovered pod casts. They are perfect to listen to when you're getting ready in the morning or scrubbing bathrooms or fighting traffic on the 405. One of the pod casts I've discovered and really enjoy is The Rob Cast with Rob Bell. It was Rob Bell and author Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat, Pray, Love fame) discussing Gilbert's new book coming out in the fall, Big Magic. Big Magic is all about allowing creativity to do it's thing and not letting our fears get in the way. Obviously I need to read it.

During the pod cast Gilbert shared a story of a promise that she made to her younger self before she became, well, Elizabeth Gilbert as we know her. She promised herself--and I'm paraphrasing here--that she would not put any pressure on her creativity. She wouldn't put pressure on her creativity to pay her bills, or fulfill her wildest dreams. She would just be creative because it was necessary for her to be fully herself. A necessity of life. A life that would be lacking without creating.

Fear is a bitch. I hate it. It gets in your head and hangs out. It creates a constant loop of negatives--no, you can't, you shouldn't, you're not good enough. Fear has been known to keep me from many a thing. Some legitimate that I'm grateful for. Fear has saved me from lots of bad choices I'm fairly certain. However, fear has also kept me from being my best self and that's not okay.

As I'm listening to Gilbert talk, I was somewhat liberated. I realized that there was no reason for me to be fearful when it came to my writing. Gilbert didn't allow fear to keep her from creating and in doing so, her writing took her to a place of greatness. I haven't been able to get this out of my head. What if? What if nothing ever comes of my writing EXCEPT for making me happy to have created it? How is that a bad thing? It's not. If my writing does nothing more than make me happy for having created it, that's all that really matters.

Is my writing going to explode into greatness one day? Well, that all depend on your definition of greatness. Having even one person read your work and say, "I loved it!" is pretty damn great. Being on the best-sellers list would be--I'm not gonna lie--pretty great too. Greatness, like a lot of things in life, is all relative.

Fear be damned, my quest for allowing room for creativity in my life will continue. For allowing creativity to be whatever it is meant to be. I mean, who doesn't like a good blog about the fascination with open-mouthed selfies?