But winning $1.3 billion sure would be nice.

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Did you buy a PowerBall ticket? Apparently it's the thing to do. I have a better chance of being squished by a vending machine than winning the PowerBall prize. Last week the Golfer came home with one. I teased him that he should have just gone ahead and put the ten bucks down our garbage disposal, but can you guess who it was who was checking the tickets once the numbers were announced? That would be me.

Will we buy another ticket tonight? The Golfer says yes. Why not. I'm not greedy or anything. I don't want to win the whole thing. I just want to win a little bit of it please. Just enough for us to become independently wealthy and move to the beach. Just enough to give a huge gift to all of the non-profits that we care about. Just enough to give a huge gift to all of our friends. Just enough to pay for the boys' college educations at the most expensive school that they can get into. Just enough for a full-time housekeeper. Just enough. Just enough.

With all of this lottery nuttiness, it seemed like a good time to post something that I wrote back in November. I had the pleasure of writing an e-blast that went out to our church. We had been focusing on gratitude and I was asked to write specifically about God's provisions. I focused on the idea of having enough. Yes, it definitely seems like a good time to talk about already having enough.

I don’t remember much of what was said at my grandmother’s funeral except for these words spoken by my cousin, “They didn’t have much, but they always had enough.” It was such a simple statement but contained so much truth. What my grandparents lacked in way of material possessions they made up for with an abundance of love for their family and in the end that was all that truly mattered. Little did I know my cousin’s words would mean even more to me just a few years later. 

When we moved to California a little over nine years ago, we knew we were taking a risk. We were leaving our family, friends and everything we had ever known in Oklahoma behind. We were optimistic about the move, believing that we were following God’s will for our lives. Our faith was strong and we moved with confidence that everything would be okay. 

Except there were times when it wasn’t okay. My husband’s starting salary at his new job wasn’t much to live on. We struggled every month just to pay our bills and buy groceries. As we neared the end of our first year in California, we realized that we couldn’t go on like this much longer. It was looking like we might have to move back to Oklahoma and start all over again. 

I didn’t understand what God was doing. Where was his provision? We had prayed and followed. We had listened and obeyed. We had hoped and believed. Yet when things started to get tough, I started to doubt. And when I did, I forced myself to pray always receiving the same answer, “Trust me. Be patient and trust me.” So we did. We continued to trust through the struggles and twelve months into our new life in California, God provided. My husband was promoted to his dream job which allowed us to breathe a huge emotional and financial sigh of relief. 

When I look back on that time in our lives, I can hear my cousins words whispering a reminder. We didn’t have much, but we always had enough. Even when our bank account said otherwise, we had managed. Even though I had doubted, there was always enough. God had been with us the whole time. God provided for us each and every day, even on the days when we neglected to give Him thanks. His provision had always been there. We didn’t have everything we wanted during that time, but we certainly had everything we needed. 

God, thank you for all that you have provided, all that you have given us...but winning $1.3 billion sure would be nice.