"That there's an RV..." and other crazy things in my life.

You might have noticed that I haven't been posting much lately. It hasn't been from lack of want, just a lack of anything to say.

There are times when every writer finds it hard to form the words. The formation of the words is what makes the story. The formation of the funny words is what makes people want to read it. My words just haven't felt all that funny lately.

I'm not saying that I'm humorous. I'm not. I just like putting words together to make it seem like I'm cleaver and smart, because ultimately that's what comedians are: cleaver and smart. I'm not either of those things, so how I'm able to pull off writing a "humor" column each week is beyond me.

But my words are in some sort of winter funk. Maybe it's because I've been focused on other things (see: "weighty issues") but writing has certainly taken a back seat lately. There have been a few adoring fans (and by few I literally mean two or three) that have asked when my next book is coming out. And maybe if a publisher showed up at my door one day and offered me a boat load of money to do it, I'd consider it. But so far the only knocking happening on my door is this yard man that comes around once a month to see if I want any mulch for my flower beds. I'm not sure if my flower beds look that bad or if he's just really desperate to sell some mulch.

Of course, I could also blame my kids for my lack of writing. They've gotten really needy lately and it's driving me to seek solace in the back of my closet. I've also been pretty busy working out, which is going really well by the way. I have to admit, avoiding sugar seems to be getting easier, although occupying myself with other things to do other than eat sugar tends to take up most of my day.

I've also been in the mood to do a lot of other things. Decorating my house is something that I love to do. Trying to keep to my "stop buying so much crap" promise that I made to myself and my dear husband, I've been tempted to do some rearranging. I decorated my dining room table for Valentine's Day the other day. Valentine's Day is like New Year's Eve--armature night. I really don't care about it all that much.

But it dawned on me that I hadn't decorated for Valentine's since we had moved to California. For the past 3 years, it was always about this time that I had to start thinking about moving (2006--moving to CA, 2007--moving to a new townhouse in CA, 2008--finally buying a new house in CA.) Yes, this will be the first spring in 3 years that I haven't had to think about moving. I'm just not sure what to do with myself. Maybe that's why I feel the urge to redecorate. I've gotten used to the change.

I'm also preoccupied with making vacation plans for this summer. We want to take a different family trip this year. Somewhere still in the state--somewhere that we could drive to. So we've been looking at going to Sequoia National park. I want to see the giant trees and the stalagmites in the Crystal Cave. I want black bears to come up and steal our picnic basket--like Yogi Bear and Boo Boo--and hike through the beautiful meadows. I want to get my boys out in the dirt--make them go scavenge around for nuts and berries for their lunch. I want to get back to nature for 4 days and 3 nights.

Then last night, the Golfer says, "I think that we should rent an RV to go up to Sequoia."

"I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!? This isn't Christmas Vacation. You're not Cousin Eddie. What business do we have renting an RV?"

"I think it would be fun," he replied. "We have to drive up there anyway. The boys would love it."

"Yeah, um, having to cook and shower in an RV really isn't my idea of a relaxing vacation," I told him. "I want to go on a long hike, come back to a nice lodge with a roaring fire, drink a large glass of wine, and soak in a big jacuzzi tub. That's the kind of 'camping' that I had in mind."

He nodded like he understood and I felt like I had been heard and had made my point.

So why the hell have I been looking up RV rentals all day? I think my husband pulled some kind of Jedi mind trick on me while I wasn't looking. That's the only reasonable explanation that I can come up with.