Pathetic at Week 3

Blah.

So today is the start of week three of my new...healthy...lifestyle. I pause between between each word to try and show my lack of enthusiasm.

Did it work?

I wish I could start this post by telling you HOW AWESOME everything is. But I can't. I can't because right now in this moment I don't feel awesome. It's hard to feel awesome when you get on the scale after two weeks with no alcohol, diet coke, no processed foods, or dairy, or sugar and see NOTHING. No change. Nada.

Sigh.

So I did it. I cheated. Today the boys wanted to go to Islands for burgers and I had no intention of ordering a salad. Last week Derek took the boys to Habit for burgers (yep...we enjoy our burgers) and brought me home a salad with a patty on top. And it was okay. It filled me it. It did the job food is supposed to do. It served its purpose.

Today's cheat (a Big Wave with CHEESE and a whole wheat bun...and fries) also served a purpose. And today that purpose was to make me happy. Because I wasn't. I wasn't happy this morning to see no improvement whatsoever.

To answer your questions, I still have gone to the lab for my blood work. Unfortunately, that won't be done for another week. So I don't know anymore about my health than I did two weeks ago. And as far as exercising? Well...I've been good and bad. That first week my energy level took a major hit. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being super hyper, I was at a negative 30. My energy level seems to be picking up. I think it has a lot to do with the Maca supplement that I take twice a day. But even with a little improvement in my energy, I still haven't been exercising a ton. Derek's been traveling and the boys are around all the time making it hard to go to yoga (when the HECK does school start?) and it's been a million degrees outside. Enough excuses for you? I know. I know. I should find a way to exercise even if it's just walking around the block twenty times. But I just don't...feel like it.

I'm not feeling guilty because I know how unproductive that is. Instead, I'm giving myself some grace. I've had some changes in my life lately, had some "stuff" going on, which of course includes my new healthy lifestyle. Completely changing the way you eat and having to say goodbye to some dear, dear, albeit destructive friends like Processed Food and Sugar hasn't been easy. Adding exercise into my daily routine will be another major change for me.

Yes, I totally understand that when I DO start exercising regularly (and I will...eventually) there is a good possibility that I will see some movement on the scale. Except that is not what has happened in my past. In my past, I've worked my butt off--red face, sweaty, stinky, worked my butt off--to see NO CHANGE. You can see why it's hard for me to be very motivated to work out.

Which leads me back to the blood work and the hormones and the mess that I am beginning be believe more and more that I am. I am so ready for that blood work to be done. I need a reason. I need my luck to change. Do I want something major wrong with me? Of course not! I just need to someone, preferably a health care professional, to look at me and tell me what the deal is.

So tonight, to make up for that burger, I will enjoy (big fake smile inserted here) my healthy smoothie and pray that tomorrow will be a better day.