Take Care of You


I loved the part in the movie Pretty Woman when Julia Robert's character would hug her friend Kit De Luca and Kit would say, "Take care of you." I have always loved that line. To me it was like saying "be careful, I love you, take care of yourself" all combined. I wish I could use that line, but I don't think I could pull it off the way Kit and Julia could.

Genuinely caring for other people is an excellent quality. It is a quality I strive for. I don't like fake care. You know, the people who act like they care, asking you about yourself and then not caring one bit about the answer? Yeah, that kind of fake care. And of course there are the people who care so little they don't even bother asking or pretending. These people don't even care about acting like they care. A while back I was feeling hurt about the lack of interest some people were showing me. They seemed to have absolutely no interest in how I am, who I am, or what I do. I got all worked up, allowing the negative emotions to take over, when my husband said something I needed to hear.

"It doesn't matter."

Now normally, I would let a statement like this one to absolutely go all over me. I would fire back a quick, "OF COURSE IT MATTERS!" But it seems that with maturity come perspective and I have learned that he's right. Other people's interest in how I am, who I am, or what I do doesn't matter. I don't have to care about whether or not other people care. As long as I am mindful to take care of myself, I shouldn't put any energy into worrying about the fact that other people don't.

You see, when Kit says, "Take care of you" that is exactly what she's saying. Be sure to take care of yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't expect anyone else to do it because they won't. The expectations that you are putting on others to care for you or about you will only leave you disappointed and hurt and bitching about it to your husband.

I recently stumbled upon an Instagram feed by a life coach who shared these 12 tips about self care. I love these. They are simple and true and and worth repeating as often as necessary.

  1. If it feels wrong, don't do it.
  2. Say exactly what you mean.
  3. Don't be a people pleaser.
  4. Trust your instincts.
  5. Never speak badly about yourself.
  6. Never give up on your dreams. 
  7. Don't be afraid to say, "No."
  8. Don't be afraid to say, "Yes."
  9. Be kind to yourself.
  10. Let go of what you can't control.
  11. Stay away from drama and negativity.
  12. LOVE.

I often speak about making healthier choices in life. These 12 steps do just that. Caring for yourself is always a good choice. Be good to yourself and maybe, if you're lucky, others will be too.


Sneak Peek: What's in your purse?


I think the type of purse a woman carries says a lot about her. Fancy, simple, ornate, big, little. Purses come in all shapes and sizes and so do women. But I believe it is what a woman carries inside her purse that tells you who she really is. Imagine meeting someone for the first time saying, "Okay, now, let me see inside your purse." I think you would immediate come to know a lot about who that person really is. A messy purse? Probably a messy person. A simple purse with little inside? Probably a minimalist. A purse filled with books and snacks and lip stick? Probably somebody just like me.

So here's a little peek inside my purse. My purse is my tool box. My medicine cabinet. My carryall. And carry all it does. I always have tissues and wet wipes, ibuprofen and Dramamine. The mom in me still keeps Band-Aids and Neosporin on hand and although I don't need them often, I'm sure glad I have them when I do. I always have a Chico Reusable Bag just in case I forget to bring my own bag into a store. Some healthy snacks like a bag of trail mix from Trader Joe's is always a good idea. And don't forget a book. I always have a book with me. Which means that recently I had to start carrying reading glasses everywhere I go because, you know, 44 is super fun.

I'm also a total sucker when it comes to having multiple cute bags to go inside my cute bag. Sunglasses are a must, which requires a super cute case to carry them in. My Beautycounter Lip Sheers and Lip Gloss go in the handmade BESOS ("kisses" in Spanish) pouch from GAIA for Women. And the little bit of cash I do carry it goes in a super cute Rebecca Minkoff change purse.

So what does this say about me? That I come prepared. That I easily get motion sickness and headaches. That my purse is so clean that I'm either a Type A personality, have OCD or maybe both. That I'm a reader who's eyes are going bad. That I never carry cash (I've often been known to be inconveniently without cash in the times that I need it most), but I have snacks for any hangry emergency that I might have. That I'm all about a cute monogram and love purchasing handmade items. And that I care a lot about our planet, safer beauty, and healthy choices.

Here are my favorites currently in my purse:
































Stay tuned for more sneak peeks!


I didn't know what I didn't know.

Up until a few years ago, I blindly trusted that what was being sold to me was safe. This is not always the case. Due to a lack of regulation in the personal care industry, we are left to protect ourselves requiring us to be educated and vigilant about what is in the products that we are using. The amount of information out there can be overwhelming, so I always recommend taking it in small bites and give yourself permission to switch out your products slowly.
It's about progress, not perfection.  


A Home Tour: Our first REAL California home



After approximately 22 months of living in what I ever so lovingly referred to as our two sh*t boxes, I was MORE THAN READY to find a real California home. By that time it was quiet clear that we would be living in California permanently, which meant it was time to find a home and not a sh*t box to live in.

Side bar: Please don't misunderstand. I know and respect that for many, living in a condo IS living in a real home. My negative feelings towards those condos had EVERYTHING to do with the context of my life at the time. During that time in our married life, living in those two condos was less than a pleasant experience for our family for a variety of reasons.

How bad could it have been you ask? Well...We lived so close to our neighbors that on cool nights we couldn't sleep with our windows open. Why? Two reasons. 1). The neighbors often went outside to smoke right underneath our windows, and 2). On multiple occasions we could hear the couple next door...how should I say this...um...totally getting it on which included lots of...um...spanking. (Insert wide-eyed/shocked emoji here.) Maybe that's why they were always out smoking. So, yeah to say that I was ready to move was a total understatement.

I had made a new friend at a Mother's of Preschoolers event at a local church who happened to be a relator. It didn't take me long to request her services in helping to search out our next home. It was springtime which meant my husband wasn't available to find the home with me. He actually gave me full permission to pick out the house. I believe his exact words were, "Whatever you want, honey. You go pick it out. I'll like whatever you pick out." (This tidbit will be important to the story later.)

So that's exactly what I did. Kirsten and her husband, Jon, did an excellent job showing us lots of nice homes. I knew which one would be ours the first time I saw it. It checked off lots of boxes, was at the right price, in a neighborhood that seemed nice, so we jumped in with both feet and made an offer.

I will never forget getting the call from Jon while sitting in Chili's.

Jon: I have great news! They accepted your offer!

Me: That's awesome! No counter or anything? Wow!

Jon: There's just one thing. Did you know about the drug bust that happened in that neighborhood?

(Insert the sound of a needle scrapping across a record.)

Me: Um...no, I don't think so. What drug bust? Like what kind of drugs? Like hardcore drugs?

(While my parents and our boys sat around us trying not to eavesdrop, Derek was in my ear saying, "Drug bust? We can't move in a neighborhood filled with drugs! We can't have people knocking on our door asking for drugs! I can't leave you and the boys alone in a druggy neighborhood!")

Jon: There was a guy growing marijuana in a house. He wasn't living in the house, just growing weed. It was a huge bust. Something like 3 million dollars worth of weed.

Now let me pause for another moment and give you some context for the story. This neighborhood is one of the newer ones in the valley that we live in. It is filled with young families, a pretty little park, and a local school within walking distance. There have been several national commercials shot in our neighborhood because it basically looks like Anywhere, U.S.A. This neighborhood was NOT a place where you would expect 3 million dollars worth of weed to be growing.

Me: Wow. Um...okay. So where in the neighborhood did it happen?

Jon: Next door.

Obviously that was not the answer we were hoping for, that was a little too close for comfort. Derek was in my ear saying something along the lines of "not good" but my response to Jon might surprise you.

Me: Well, he's in prison and the weed is gone, so it's all good! Tell them we have a deal!

My husband thought I had lost my mind.

A month later we were moving in next door to the pot house. When meeting new friends in the neighborhood we were often introduce as "the people who bought the house next door to the drug bust." Yep, that was us. It was a mantle we wore with feigned ignorance and I decorated that place from top to bottom with pride!

Bentley's bedroom...




My little, green laundry room...




Our back patio addition...



I have written about that house several time on this blog (which you can find by clicking on the label, HOMES. You find my decorating, our remodeling of the kitchen and backyard patio addition.) It was a good little house that we enjoyed for several year until, well, we didn't anymore. Remember that part where my husband said, "I'll like whatever you pick." Well...he didn't. Five years later we were on the hunt for a new house.