Why trying new things matters.

Last fall I finally got around to reading The Nightengale. (So good! Highly recommend!) Set in France I quickly found myself drawn to all things French. I signed up for a French food cooking class. I bought books about Paris. I started bugging my husband about taking me to France. ("Think about all of the French wine we can drink!") And I started taking French lessons online.

Have you ever heard someone with an Okie accent speak French? It isn't the prettiest thing you've ever heard. I stick my headphones in during my lesson so I don't have to listen to myself. Right now I'm not confident enough to actually say something out loud. If you asked, "Say something in French!" I would politely respond with a, "non, merci" and try not to blush.

I'm in a constant state of searching for something new. Not a new life. Not a new job. I'm very happy with both of those. I'm defined as a wife and a mother and... well, that's about it. I am honored to hold those two titles, and I take my overlapping jobs seriously

However...

My life is often monotonous. Wake the kids, feed the kids, feed the dogs, make the lunches, start the laundry, all before 8AM. Every day is the same and every single one of those tasks holds value. Yes, these tasks matter, but they are mindless. I don't have to put a lot of thought into them. And doing these mindless tasks day after day after day leaves my brain screaming for attention.

So I search. I search for new things to do, to learn about, to try. I read. I listen to podcasts. I take classes. I find new hobbies. I'm in a constant state of searching for something new. Some people fear trying new things. Others, like me, crave it. I need the benefits that trying new things brings to my life.

A Few of the New Things I've Tried:

• Took a pottery class. (Made several salsa bowls.)
• Learned to knit. (I'm good for a long scarf and not much else.)
• Taught myself how to needlepoint. (My last project took me 10 years to complete. I wish I was kidding.)
• Learned HTML. (Back in the day when creating your own blog was still a new thing.)
• Self-published a book. (Because sometimes you have to make your own dreams come true.)
• Taught myself embroidery. (Made some fun Christmas decorations.)
• Learned how to make homemade croissants. (Might be the best and most dangerous thing I've learned how to do.)
• Take cooking classes at Sur La Table whenever I can.
• Learned how to Stand Up Paddle in the ocean. (One word: seasick.)
• Re-learned how to snow ski. (Because if you only do it once every 10+ years you go through a re-learning process.)
• Bought a sewing machine and taught myself how to hem some jeans. (Much harder than it looks.)
• Currently learning French. (Oui.)

Trying new things isn't always successful. I might discover I don't like something. I might find that no matter how hard I try I will never be good at it. But I never regret trying. It is never time wasted. So here are my reasons why I suggest you should step out try new things:

1. It gives you something new to talk about at parties. Or anywhere really. I get tired of always talking about the same subjects and talking about today's politics and whatever the latest sh*t show is on the news tends to bring everyone down. When you are learning about something new you are exposed to new ideas. Whenever I'm exposed to new things I can't wait to share my new knowledge with someone, to talk about it, to share what I've learned
   
   
2. It brings fresh energy into your life. Trying new things creates a spark. It gives us something to be excited about. Something to look forward to. New things bring optimism and positive energy into our lives. In our current world, filled with lots of negativity, it is important for us to find things that bring joy into our lives, things that we love to do. When you need something positive to focus on, trying something new is a great way to make that happen.
    
3. It might expose you to different people or cultures. Immersing myself in all things French has exposed me to a whole new culture. It has gotten me out of my bubble and into a world that is much bigger than the simple suburb that I live in. And a few years ago when I took a pottery class, I met a bunch of new people that I wouldn't have met otherwise. Exposing yourself to different cultures and different people helps you to have a better understanding of our world.
    
4. It boosts your self-confidence. Every time I learn how to do something that I didn't know how to do before, I feel good about myself. You get that "I did it!" fist-pumping feeling. Learning a new skill, no matter how big or how small, makes us proud of ourselves. Conquering something that we were afraid to try, let's say like paddle boarding in the ocean over gigantic wads of aggressive kelp, is a huge boost to your ego. (I know that of which I speak.)
   
   
5. It will help you learn to make mistakes. Rarely can you try something new and instantly be good at it. There are a few exceptions, but most of us aren't genetically blessed with the talent of being good at everything. It is normal to make mistakes, probably lots of them, when you are trying something new. Personally, I have found the more mistakes I make, the more used to it I get. I don't get upset when I fail. I realize that it is part of the process and the more I try, the more normal making mistakes feel.

So step out. Try something new. There's nothing to lose and everything to gain.

And something new to talk about at parties.

Meditation. It's the thought that counts.

Monday Morning Meditation:

You got the kids fed and to school. You fed the dogs. Got a protein smoothie in your stomach. Everyone's been fed. You've got an hour before Pilates. Plenty of time to meditate.

You grab your phone and go into the living room where you've created a mediation space. You need a comfy chair, a diffuser, headphones, and that's all you need. Except you need to refill the diffuser. Take ten minutes to scroll through Pinterest to find just the right essential oil blend. You go with one called "Meditate" because it seems stupid not to.

You get the diffuser all set and ready to go. You sit down and cross you legs. Instantly your hips start to ache because you are 44 and that's your new normal. You get back up to find two pillows to place under your folded legs so you won't focus on your hip pain the whole meditation. You make a mental note to stretch more.

You open your Calm app and click on Day 3 of your "21 Days of Calm" mediation and try not to feel guilty that you started your 21 Days 45 Days ago. You reach over to grab your headphones that you always leave on the table only to realize they aren't there. You spend the next 10 minutes trying to figure out where you left them. You go into the boys' bedrooms to look and get sidetracked making their beds (see previous post as to why this is a priority.) Find the headphones in your own bathroom, unsure how they ended up there. Return downstairs to the living room.

Position the pillows, open the app, plug in the headphones, and you're ready. Until the dogs starts whining to join you. Pat on the chair so she can squeeze in between the arm rest and your hip pillow. No rule against a dog joining your mediation. Notice she kinda smells. Thank goodness for the diffuser. Make another mental note to call the groomer. Your mental notes are starting to crowd one another. Push them aside for now. Restart the app. Realize you're running low on time. Mediation will take about 15 minutes. You'll be cutting it close.

Two minutes in and you're already feeling the effects as you concentrate on your breathing. Think about how grateful you are to have found a mediation practice. Your mind drifts to all of the things you are grateful for including your husband which reminds you that you need to do his laundry which reminds you that you need to clean your closet that's gotten out of control which reminds you to refocus. Breathing again, four counts in, four counts out, think about prayer requests, who you need to focus on and send love to during your mediation.

While you're trying to remember that name of that friend of a friend who needs prayer for that thing that you can't remember, your phone buzzes. Text message from your high schooler reminding you that he needs five bucks for his homecoming T-shirt. Open your reminders app so you won't forget. Record several things you need to do today which now includes a stop by the bank for cash, which reminds you to reconcile your bank statement, which makes you wonder if you're the only person on the planet who still reconciles their bank statement, which makes you think that might make a funny blog post, which reminds you that you should be blogging more, which makes you think of all the things you need to start doing more of like meditating.

Refocus (again) and reopen the Calm app (again) and see that you're running low on time. You realize you still need to wash your face and put on deodorant because, even though your friends at Pilates are used to seeing you in all of your glory which normally consists of a ponytail and no makeup, they shouldn't have to endure your dirty face and smelly pits. You hop up, leaving the hip pillows and diffuser and headphones in your mediation space, vowing to return tomorrow for Day 3 of your 46 Days of mediating. Chalk this one up under good intentions.

Mediation. It's the thought that counts.

Creating a Safer, Cleaner Home

About a month ago, I got into a huge cleaning kick. Things seemed...dirty...and I keep a fairly clean house. When I say "I" keep it, it really is all me. I don't have outside help when it comes to cleaning my home and I like it that way. My children might be free labor with plenty of their own chores, but considering how little they actually help, they don't count for much. I take pride in my home--decorating it, hosting in it, and even cleaning it.

A little while back I stumbled onto a site, Clean Mama, that was all about making your cleaning routines safer and more efficient. This was right up my alley. This blogger has also written a book, The Organically Clean Home, with 150 recipes for creating your own cleaning products. I already use safer cleaning products from companies like Young Living, Seventh Generation, Mrs. Meyer's, and Method, but creating my own would not only be a little cheaper (in the long run), but also help feed my constant need to create.

I decided to make some basic cleaning products that I regularly use: All-Purpose Cleaner, Window Cleaner, Marble + Granite Cleaner, Nightly Sink Scrub, Shower Spray, and even Laundry Detergent. I gathered up the supplies I would need, a lot of which I already had right in my kitchen--baking soda, white vinegar, vodka, and essential oils. There were a few other things I needed to buy--glass bottle sprayers, Borax, super washing soda, Dr. Bonner's Castile Soap (both liquid and bar soap.) The glass spray bottle came from Amazon. I found the Borax and super washing soda at the grocery store, and the Castile soap at Whole Foods. I also purchased labels from the Clean Mama web store with the recipes and instructions.

Feels sacrilegious to use my Tito's for a cleaning product. As you can tell, it was still nice and cold from the freezer. I might or might not have made a cocktail when I was done make my new cleaning products. I mean, the vodka was already out.

Once I had everything gathered up, it probably took me around 30 minutes and each recipe is super easy. The most time consuming thing I had to do was grate the bar soap for the homemade laundry detergent and that took maybe all of five minutes. So with only minimal investment in time and money, I had made organic, safer cleaning products.

After over a month of using these products, I couldn't be happier. They all work very well, and thanks to the essential oils smell good too! I'm not breathing in toxic fumes. Instead I'm breathing in lemon and lavender and peppermint which make my home smell fantastic.

My favorite of the products I made? The laundry detergent! Finding a safer laundry soap that cleans well and gets the stink out of teenage boys clothes hasn't been easy, but I think I've found it! I only have to use 2 Tablespoons for each wash. After using it for a month I've barely made a dent in the amount I made.

I'm all about making things that are safer, cheaper and actually work and these products fit into all three categories.

Clean Mama's Laundry Detergent

• 1 bar Castile soap (grated). I used Dr. Bronner’s Baby Unscented bar soap
• 2 cups Borax
• 2 cups super washing soda
• 1 cup baking soda
• 30 drops essential oils. I used Young Living's Purification. 

Have Fun and Wear Sunscreen

We have been non-stop, on-the-go, crazy busy this summer. We just came home from one trip only to turn around and get ready for the next. I'm not complaining. It's an awesome problem to have. 

Being that it's summer and we're outside a little more than usual, I find myself asking my children multiple times a day, "Have you put on sunscreen?" To which they either mutter that they already did or turn around and head upstairs to apply it. Often we leave the house with everyone forgetting. It's a habit we're trying to get into, the remembering before we leave the house, but one we have yet to master. What I have gotten good at is always having sunscreen with me wherever we go. I always keep our Beautycounter sunscreen on the ready for anyone near me, passing it around for everyone to use. I lathered up the other day before one of Palmer's golf tournaments. About 9 holes in, my oldest touched my shoulder and said, "Mom, you need more sunscreen. Isn't that what you're always telling us? To put on more sunscreen?" Ah ha! So they do listen!

But my son was right. I needed more sunscreen. Unfortunately it was too late. My shoulders were sunburned. Yeah, when the bottle's instructions tell you to reapply every two hours, it's not just words on a bottle, there to take up space. It's there for a reason. Yes, I was not setting a very good example for my children allowing myself to get sunburned. Especially when I am constantly nagging, "You don't want to get sun cancer, do you?"

Beautycoutner and Stand Up To Cancer have created this excellent graphic how important it is to stay safe when you're under the sun. Sun protection is an every day thing, not just when you're by the pool or on the beach. That's why I love Beautycoutner's Protect Sticks (both face and body.) They are easy to apply and easy carry in your purse or your car. My husband likes the face stick because he can easily keep it in his pocket when he's out on the golf course. They are all easy to apply and then REAPPLY, something I obviously need to be better at. 

Shop all of our Beautycounter sun protection products by visiting my personal website at beautycounter.com/stepheniefreeman.

Take Care of You

I loved the part in the movie Pretty Woman when Julia Robert's character would hug her friend Kit De Luca and Kit would say, "Take care of you." I have always loved that line. To me it was like saying "be careful, I love you, take care of yourself" all combined. I wish I could use that line, but I don't think I could pull it off the way Kit and Julia could.

Genuinely caring for other people is an excellent quality. It is a quality I strive for. I don't like fake care. You know, the people who act like they care, asking you about yourself and then not caring one bit about the answer? Yeah, that kind of fake care. And of course there are the people who care so little they don't even bother asking or pretending. These people don't even care about acting like they care. A while back I was feeling hurt about the lack of interest some people were showing me. They seemed to have absolutely no interest in how I am, who I am, or what I do. I got all worked up, allowing the negative emotions to take over, when my husband said something I needed to hear.

"It doesn't matter."

Now normally, I would let a statement like this one to absolutely go all over me. I would fire back a quick, "OF COURSE IT MATTERS!" But it seems that with maturity come perspective and I have learned that he's right. Other people's interest in how I am, who I am, or what I do doesn't matter. I don't have to care about whether or not other people care. As long as I am mindful to take care of myself, I shouldn't put any energy into worrying about the fact that other people don't.

You see, when Kit says, "Take care of you" that is exactly what she's saying. Be sure to take care of yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't expect anyone else to do it because they won't. The expectations that you are putting on others to care for you or about you will only leave you disappointed and hurt and bitching about it to your husband.

I recently stumbled upon an Instagram feed by a life coach who shared these 12 tips about self care. I love these. They are simple and true and and worth repeating as often as necessary.

1. If it feels wrong, don't do it.
2. Say exactly what you mean.
3. Don't be a people pleaser.
4. Trust your instincts.
5. Never speak badly about yourself.
6. Never give up on your dreams. 
7. Don't be afraid to say, "No."
8. Don't be afraid to say, "Yes."
9. Be kind to yourself.
10. Let go of what you can't control.
11. Stay away from drama and negativity.
12. LOVE.

I often speak about making healthier choices in life. These 12 steps do just that. Caring for yourself is always a good choice. Be good to yourself and maybe, if you're lucky, others will be too.