Little Victories.

the Sugar Demon staring me in the face at target yesterday

Day 6: I'm impressed with myself.

Full disclosure. I have NEVER made it this far with any kind of diet or "lifestyle change" involving food. Ever. By now I have always caved in. Given up. Succumbed to my desire for all things sugar related. Six days might not be long to some people, but for me this is a total victory.

Each baby step has been a small victory. The Golfer and I went out for a breakfast date at our local breakfast cafe. Let me tell you, it sucks to order an omelet and hot water with lemon when the people next to are eating pancakes and drinking lattes. Sucks to have to say, "No cheese. No toast. No...not even whole wheat." Really, really sucks. But we ate our breakfast, felt full, and didn't hate ourselves afterwards. Victory.

The boys had the day off of school yesterday and wanted waffles for breakfast. I decided early on in this deal that just because the Golfer and I are making this change that didn't mean we had to force the boys into it as well. They shouldn't be denied the joys of waffles just because their parents can't indulge. I mean, if there's ever a time to enjoy waffles and syrup without the guilt it's when you're a little kid and don't know any better.

I'm pretty good about not always having a waffle when I make them for the boys. But yesterday, as they were cooking in the waffle maker, the smell filled the kitchen and I started to hate life. It was only for a brief moment. The moment of of wishing that waffles were a super food filled with protein and veggies instead of junk. But I didn't cave. I didn't take a single bite even when P left some on his plate. Victory.

This morning I made smoothies for the boys. I make them to taste like Orange Julius from the mall. They are delicious. Dangerously delicious. I knew I couldn't even have a tiny taste. As I poured some smoothie into a glass, some dribbled off the side. It took all of the self-control I had not to lick the side of the glass before handing it to B. But I didn't do it, which is good for several reasons. Victory.

Had to go to Target yesterday for a birthday present. Managed to walk by the Easter section without taking a second glance at the Cadbury Mini Eggs. Not an easy thing to do and thanks to retail being what it is today, I'll have to avoid those damn eggs for another six weeks. While waiting in the checkout line I was forced to stare at the picture above. Shelf after shelf of Pepperidge Farm cookies. My favorites are the Milanos. In the past I would have no hesitation of buying a package and plowing through half of the bag before dinner. Yes, I have actually done that before. But not this time. Victory.

All of these victories are starting to add up. I even managed to have enough energy to take our dog on a two mile walk yesterday. It was only 30 minutes of exercise, but considering that all I've felt like doing the last few days is lay around and pout, this was yet another victory.

And now I'm off to do a little yoga. Abandoned my yoga practice well over a year ago, although calling it a "practice" is a little much. But I have always loved it so here I go.

I feel another victory coming on.

I gave up EVERYTHING for Lent.

Day 4: I feel hungover. The Whole 30 encouragement emails that I get daily said this would happen. My body is mad at me. It's yelling at me.

Where is my sugar? Where's the yogurt and toast and orange juice for breakfast? Where's my sandwich and chips at lunch? Where's my pasta heavy casserole at dinner? And where in the HELL are my cookies and ice cream?!?!

Due to my body being mad at me, it's made me very grumpy on the outside. People's heads were bitten off before breakfast. About what, I couldn't tell you. I don't remember. It's been hard to think straight. Or keep myself from biting people's heads off.

The book, the magical book that continues to encourage me to stick with this, says that this is the hardest time. That if you can make it through the first week that it will start to get better. I believe them. But it's like when I was pregnant. Everyone said the nausea would pass after the first trimester. That things would get better and I would feel great soon.

I literally threw up until the moment B was born. It was like having the stomach flu for 9 months. B is lucky he isn't an only child.

...

Today is the first day of Lent. Ash Wednesday. Lent is a season of sacrifice, prayer and penance. We are not Catholic so my home doesn't practice Lent, but as a Christian and lover of Jesus I have always admired the concept. Easter is about the ultimate sacrifice, Christ dying for us even though we didn't deserve it. Lent is about us giving something up, sacrificing something hard. Fasting from something we love. In it's place? Prayer. Meditating on God's word. Seeking God instead of that Diet Coke or piece of chocolate or the latest Real Housewives episode.

I'm gonna be seeking God a lot during the next 27 days.

...

In case you're interested. Here's what I ate yesterday:

meal one

meal two

snack

meal three

Healthy, right? I mean, it's this the way we should all be eating every day, all the time?

Yeah...that's kinda the whole point.

As the Golfer and I sat down to what some TV after the kids went to bed, we were both missing something. We were missing that sweet treat, that little naughty bite of something that you wait to have until after the kids are in bed so you don't have to share it.

Instead, we had some berries and almonds. Sure, berries are sweet. But not as sweet as a chocolate milkshake (which we didn't have but desperately wanted.) It does feel good to overcome the craving. The problem is, they keep coming back. That damn Sugar Demon.

Like I said, gonna be seeking God a lot in the next 27 days.

But who's counting.

How the Whole 30 am I doing?

photo courtesy of whole 9

Day 1: This is gonna suck.

Day 2: Okay, this isn't so terrible.

Day 3: I can do this! I'm tired and have zero energy, but I CAN do this!

Why the change in attitude? Why so positive so fast? Social media. And to think, I almost gave up social media.

Recently, I read this post and this post about the negative effects that social media can have on a person. I agreed with all of their points. They were valid arguments about how things like Facebook, Twitter, and Instgram can get the best of you. Take the best of you away from the life that is happening around you. Pull you away from paying attention to the loved ones standing right in front of you.

I was just about ready to delete it all. Make a statement. Focus on my life and not everyone else's. But I didn't. I couldn't. I live 1,300 miles away from all of my family and friends. Social media has saved me the last 7 years and 6 months that I have lived away. Social media keeps me informed and connected to my loved ones. Heck, social media keeps me connected to my friends that live right here in the same city. You're shaking your head in agreement because you know what I'm talking about.

As I always do, after finishing yesterday's blog post, I quickly posted it on Facebook. Within a few hours, I had received several comments. These are just a few:

"Good luck...you can do it!"

"I'm sure you can do it!"

"I'm rooting for you!"

"Yay! Soooooo proud of you. You'll be soooo grateful you did it. Cheering you on!"

"Andrea and I are currently on day 18...we feel fantastic and are NOT happy about it."

That last one was my favorite.

I was BEYOND grateful for all of these words of encouragement. Going through a lifestyle change, especially one like changing the way you've eaten for the last 40 years, requires support. LOTS of support. You need a community, a cheering section, encouraging you every step of the way. Never question the positive affects of a good cheering section.

Social media is where my cheering section lives. God bless social media.

Another reason for the sudden change in attitude: I've been eating more. I realized that on Day 1 we didn't eat enough. We were hungry and didn't have to be. The great thing about Whole 30 is that you can eat all of the whole foods you want.* All the meat and veggies that you can handle. If they fall onto the approved list, go for it!

I also didn't have any caffeine the first day. Big mistake. It's hard enough to give up sugar, dairy and bread, but caffeine too? Forget it. Actually, you can still have caffeine on the Whole 30, you just can't have sweetener or dairy in your coffee. This had me worried because I don't do black coffee. This meant that I had to buy coconut milk (which is on the approved list) to put in my morning cup of joe. Yesterday was my first day to try it, and you know what? I was actually good! I have never been so happy or enjoyed a cup of coffee so much in my life! Let's face it, a good cup of coffee can make or break your day. Why else would Starbucks be a 35 BILLION dollar company?

Which immediately makes me wonder...does Starbucks have coconut milk?

Yes, I still have 28 days to go. That cupcake pictured above looks really good, but I don't want it as much as I did two days ago. There will be plenty of peaks and valleys. Lots of coconut milk to buy. But regardless of the highs and lows, I know that there is a cheering section waiting on Facebook to help me through it all.

No pressure, Facebook friends. No pressure.


*Note: The Whole 30 program does give you guidelines on how much to eat. For example, your protein for each meal should be about the size of your palm and your veggies should fill the rest of your plate. But, the program also says that if you are hungry (truly hungry) and are eating slowly so that your brain can catch up to your stomach, then enjoy!

Disclaimer: I am NO Whole 30 expert. I'm just starting this journey. If this is something that you are interested in, please visit the Whole 30 website here.

The Freemans Go Whole 30

Yesterday was Day 1. Day 1 of 30. The Whole 30. The Golfer and I are doing the program together. Late last summer I attempted to go Paleo (animal and vegetable only diet.) I didn't last very long. By September, I had chucked my new friend Paleo out the window in favor of a good margarita and some chocolate cake.

For the last 6 months I've been saying, "As soon as the move is over I'm going to get back on track." Well, the move was over several weeks ago and I still haven't gotten back on that track.  Then I had lunch with a friend who told me that she was on Day 23 of the Whole 30. She told me all about the program and how she has never felt better in her life. She told me about having energy all day, even in the afternoon when the kids came home. She told me that she sleeps soundly every night and that she's lost 14 pounds in the process.

She had me at having never felt better.

I had heard of the Whole 30 program when I started going paleo. I came home after lunch, did a little research, bought the book It Starts with Food on my Kindle, and told the Golfer what we were getting ready to do. Yes, if I was doing this, I needed him to do it with me. I knew I would need the support and it would be easier for him to understand if he was going through it too. He was on board without reading a single page of guidelines. This is what we do. I do the research, he does what I tell him to do. This pretty much sums up our marriage.

The Whole 30 in a nutshell: no sugar, dairy, legumes, gluten or alcohol for 30 days. It's a chance for your body to reset itself. A chance to let your hormones, gut and immune system get back to normal. Legumes, gluten and alcohol I could easily give up. No dairy or sugar? Well, that was going to be a challenge.

Back to Day 1. We woke up excited to start the program and made a yummy breakfast:

• scrambled eggs
• chicken sausage
• chamomile tea

Was a bummer not having my glass of OJ. I've been drinking OJ with breakfast my ENTIRE life. Also skipped my coffee because it's usually filled with sugar-free creamer and a Splenda.

So far...so good.

10 AM: I was headed off to Whole Foods with my long grocery list in hand made from guidelines and recipes from Practical Paleo, the Nom Nom Paleo app, and It Starts with Food. $350 bucks later (glup) I left Whole Foods hungry, a little lethargic, and irritated that I had just spent so much on groceries that would probably only last me through the week. This program isn't for wussies, on multiple levels, including your grocery bill.

12 PM: Lunch was some leftover beef and vegetable soup, minus the red potatoes. Was hard not having crackers or some other kind of bread to go with it. Didn't feel very satisfied when I reached the bottom of the bowl.

So far...I was not loving this.

2 PM: I was hungry. Legitimately hungry. So was the Golfer. And we were both HIGHLY irritable. Yes, we were getting hangry. Had seen a recipe for bacon wrapped pineapple, and since I happened to have both I quickly made them. They were a yummy marriage saving treat.

4 PM: I was hungry again. I grabbed some pistachios. I eat a handful and start to feel lightheaded. It was weird. I drank some water and felt fine. My body wasn't digging this. I could tell.

6 PM: We were starving so I made dinner quickly. Dinner was some chicken stir fry. Nothing fancy. Nothing especially delicious. No soy sauce allowed. Boring and unsatisfying...again. This wasn't good. The Golfer, who is used to his evening glass of red wine, just looked at me with sad eyes. This wasn't going as well as I had hoped for the first day. Wasn't the first day supposed to be easy? Weren't we supposed to be on some kind of Whole 30 high? Wasn't the excitement supposed to last for more than 12 hours? The Golfer looked at me and said, "What the HELL have you gotten us into?!?"

So far...I was hating life.

9 PM: By bedtime I had a full blown headache. An entire day of no caffeine and no sugar had finally taken it's toll. Was able to go to sleep quickly, but woke up in the middle of the night with a full-blown migraine.

My immediate emotion? Anger.

Anger? Yes, anger. Angry that my body was already having such serious withdrawals that I was in physical pain (it was the kind of headache that made you sick to your stomach.) Angry that I still had 29 days of this left. The Golfer? He was fine. No issues. Was sleeping soundly. Clearly I'm the only one completely dependent on sugar and caffeine to survive. Shocker.

Today is Day 2.

So far...we'll see.