Those pesky 2 pounds.

:: photo courtesy of mesonox ::

Here's what I don't understand:

Last week I weighed myself.  I had lost 2 pounds.  No big deal, but hey, 2 pounds is 2 pounds.

Then the week went by and I didn't work out.  I will proudly admit that I'm a very involved PTA mom, and last week I found myself coordinating volunteers, working on room parents, helping out at the book fair, and attending a Jog-a-Thon fundraiser meeting.  It was a lot and made me much busier than I wanted to be, but I figure that I am blessed to stay at home and our schools really need our help.  So there you go.

Like I said, there was no time to work out and I figured I was okay though because I was so busy.  I mean, you've got to be burning calories by just being busy, right?  Right?!?!?

Apparently not, because when I weighed myself this morning I had gained those 2 pounds back.

Here's the part that I don't understand: How is it fair that it can take 2 weeks to lose 2 pounds and only 1 week to gain those 2 pounds back?  I mean, I was never very good at math, but that just seems wrong.  If not wrong, then just not fair.

Yes, I know that I shouldn't be weighing myself on a weekly basis.  Water retention, time of the month issues, etc. can make all the difference.  I have read and had professionals tell me that it isn't the number on the scale that matters but how you feel.  I get it, but let's face it folks.  It all boils down to one thing: we put a lot of stock in numbers.  How many are in our bank account, how many we get on a test, how many we lost or in my case, gained.  Numbers are important whether we like it or not.

I'm sick of the number on my scale.  There's a particular number (no, I'm not going to share it) that I just can't seem to shake.  Even when I lose a few, I always seem to come back to the same exact number.  It's sort of spooky really.  It's almost like my body, regardless of what I do, keeps saying, "Nope.  This is the number that I want."

So where does that leave me?  I need that number to judge my successes and failures.  Sure, I can always go with how I feel and how my clothes fit, but I don't want to.  Like the perfect SAT score, I want that number.  I need that number.  I just don't know how to get to and stay at that number.

I have continued to run.  I have officially finished my Couch to 5K program and to celebrate will be running with two of my friends in a 5K down in Santa Monica next month.  And to celebrate that we plan to stay down there and do a little shopping because we might try to act like serious runners, but we're not crazy!

So there you go.